Adventures in Bread Making

I must apologize for the lack of pictures in these early bread attempts. I did not plan to turn this into a blog until around loaf 5. I will add pictures as I remake these original loves.

THE MACHINE!!!

Look how purrdy it is. It is shinny and black and oh so big.  I dig it out of the box and set it proudly on the counter and then notice the manual. Let’s see, page one, yeah yeah boring “about your bread machine stuff”, get on with the recipes already. ~flip, flip, flip~

How to measure, whatever, I know how to do that geesh I didn’t start cooking yesterday. ~flip, flip, flip~

Know your ingredients, oh please, come on it’s bread you need flour, liquid, yeast, how hard can it be? ~flip, flip, flip~

Finally recipes! Ok let’s see oh old-fashioned white bread that sounds good.

Skim the directions, start to add stuff, water, butter, salt, bread flour hum what the hell is bread flour, must just mean the regular white stuff.  Moving along now, yes this looks good, mash some buttons, and hit start and presto bread!

Well ok so it takes 3 hours and it was more of a rock then bread. It SMELLED like bread but it was a lumpy hard mess. I am sure the machine malfunctioned at this point so I decide to do what any good cook does and I read the manual to see what the machine did wrong.

One hour Later!

Ok back, turns out the machine is fine and the problem was with the user. So here is what I learned while reading the manual.

1.       I don’t in fact know how to measure things. (Refer to “Bread Making Tips & Tricks” section for details on how to measure stuff.)

2.       Bread Flour is NOT the regular white stuff. It is a special type of flour use in bread machines. (Refer to “Bread Making Tips & Tricks” section to learn the differences between flours and how to cheaply make your own bread flour out of all-purpose flour [the regular white stuff].)

3.       The settings are important. You can NOT mash buttons and expect a perfect loaf of bread. Hell even with the correct settings a perfect loaf is hard to achieve.

4.       All ingredients are not created equally, so it is vital you know them BEFORE you use them.

5.       While using your “bread rock” to drop on people from your balcony may seem like a good use for it, likely it is not. You can still use it by chopping it up and dropping it into a food processor and pulsing it into bread crumbs. In fact ALL your “bread rocks” can be used this way even the flavored ones.

So that is it for today’s post.  Join me next time for a bread success along with some holiday cookie posts.

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